Dear blog,

I have been neglecting you. It’s sad because it has come to the point where I forgot my username, despite it being MY NAME. Let us recap on what has been happening since I have last posted:

1. Having completed my INC, I am no longer carrying my two beat-up paperbacks everywhere I go. I have now replaced this former weight with a biology textbook. I need physical reminders of what I am neglecting: carrying “Biology” is a much heavier and painful physical ache than Nietzsche was. Quite hard to ignore…and yet I am still behind in readings. Normally I wouldn’t waste valuable time feeling guilty about this, but the biology department loves to tell their students that they will all fail, and the negativity is starting to get to me. I think it is amazing how absolutely INSANE these people are. Whatever happened to being encouraging?

2. I am in the process of trying to turn my Nietzsche essay into my HTH thesis. It was not my own idea, but I am thinking that it will become an interesting challenge. The reason for my madness is that I am hoping that something good will come from this if I can stay on top of my work. Luckily, I do not need to worry about the actual writing process until the summer. Currently, my main problem is finding a professor who wants to oversee my work.

3. In attempt to avoid dropping out of school from feeling so overwhelmed, I decided (last semester) to cut my hours at work. I am starting to regret this decision. Up until yesterday, I had insufficient funds in my checking account and it seems as though Chase has deleted my savings account. It disappeared from the screen when I log on for online banking. That, friends, is a bad sign, especially when I still need to find a way to pay my tuition!  

4. In contrast to the negative Nancy that is Biology, the wonderful people at Mt. Sinai (I truly love and appreciate the time that Seth Harty and Dr. Halperin, et al. spend with me), are encouraging me to work on material for a poster. I have been trying to get through readings in order to decide on one of two topics. First start: ADHD as a Right Hemisphere Syndrome!

I am also applying for internships over the summer, wise advice from my team leader at the Bodnar lab. It has finally occured to me that I should have a CV, not a resume. I am slightly excited (I am trying to not to get carried away because the odds are against me!) that I could work with scientists at NIH…

5. Last, but certainly not least, CERAMICS is the high of my week. I have decided that I am staying an extra semester to continue with more art courses. It has been so long (since I stopped drawing in middle school) that I felt something so natural come from within me without any conscious thought. Clay is so sensual! Its response to my touch dictates how my hand will move next; it is such a beautiful conversation. My favorite part of it all is that as I lay in bed, eyes shut and ready for sleep, I see the most vivid yellow and green thinking about how I feel in ceramics class.   

Concluding Statement:

Simply, I am trying to survive yet another semester, this time without repeating any disastrous cycles.