A while ago I wrote how I had finally declared my major.  English, with a minor in Journalism.  Now I’m having second thoughts on it.  I’ve decided to drop my journalism minor and add a Media Studies major.  So for now, I’m a double major in English and Media Studies.  But I highly doubt I’ll keep a double major, since it will take more time for me to graduate because of the amount of credits involved.  So I’ll probably have to keep one of the two a minor, or I might even not do a minor…I guess it will have to depend on time.

Why the sudden change in decision?  Well, I wasn’t sure of anything from the beginning.  That’s why from my 1st semester of college I’ve been taking courses from many different fields, which included Art History, Accounting, Psychology, and Political Science, to name a few.  I finally came to the conclusion that I loved writing, as it was a form of catharsis for me.  Writing is something that I am extremely passionate about and am devoted to, but I do get the occasional writer’s block from time to time, especially when what I’m writing about hits close to home.

I was thinking of doing journalism, but now I’m trying to lean towards a different direction.  I’m resolute in becoming a screenwriter.  I’ve been thinking about it since high school, but I would always dust it off from my mind because I always thought it was so unrealistic and out of reach for me.  And it might still be unrealistic and out of reach for me, now and maybe forever, but I’ve never felt so certain about anything else ever before.  I feel as though I have a lot to say on paper, considering what I have gone through these past few years, especially what I went through this past September.  I want to be able to disguise real life in the form of fictional characters.

I’m not trying to live in a dream.  I know it won’t be easy, and I know there are a lot of great writers out there who never get the recognition they deserve.  And screenwriting is a field in which you need to have good connections with people in order to see the light of day.  I’m a very shy person, and considering my current mental state (extreme depression and anxiety), I don’t think I’ll ever be able to network correctly.  I might just come home one day and admit my defeat in being a failed writer.  But I have to fight this…I have to fight myself.  I’m trying to get myself out of where I am in order to achieve my goals.  I hope one day this (me being a published writer) will not just become a dream of mine, but a reality too.