Life is a circus.

As the wire suspended 100 feet above the ground delve into our dirty white cotton shoes, we must balance. Left against right, right against left. The arms extended like wings must learn to moderate.

Every weekend I fight. I fight myself to say “no”.

“What are you doing tonight?”

“Wanna get coffee?”

“Wanna get dinner tonight?”

“Wanna go to the spa?”

“Are you hungry?”

Me: “Uhhhhhh….. uuuuuummmmm,…”

“Are you not free?”

Me: “Uhhh, wait a sec… uhhh… yeah. I’m free for a few hours.”

(“Why in the hell did you just say that JX. You idiot. You have so much homework to get done, you’re going to be working all day tomorrow, and you don’t need to use more money eating out.!!!!”)

Talking to myself still doesn’t make a difference.

How do we fight the temptations?

Chocolate cake? vs. Carrot sticks?

Going out for dinner? vs. Cooking dinner at home while getting work done?

Sometimes the smallest decisions that can change your life forever.” -Keri Russell

Everything (or most things that we have control over) is a result of these small decision we make based on our priorities in life. Sometimes we forget to remind ourselves what our priorities are. Sometimes we get confused which one is more important than the other. Sometimes they’re equally as important. What do you do?

You balance. Make sure you know what you really want and you’re working for it most of the time. At the same time, don’t forget to relax once in a while. Relaxing can help getting work done so much more efficient.(I KNOW THIS FOR FACT.)

I started a tally on my whiteboard/calendar. When I go out, I tally under “Had fun.” Every time I said “Hey, sorry, I’m going to get some work done at home tonight, but invite me again, thanks, and have fun!” I tally under “Worked hard.” This might sound a bit OCD to some (sure does to me sometimes), but I hope it works. I’m just tired of slapping myself in the face for making stupid tiny decisions.

So once in a while, make sure you give yourself time to sit in a room and think to yourself… What did I do? What am I doing? What am I going to do now?

“Damn everything but the circus.” -Corita Kent

Take risks. Do something different. Put yourself on the brink. Try it out. See what happens. Then tell me about it so I can learn from you.

Happy Monday. Make this week different from the last.