I took a shower, brushed my teeth, and was ready to snuggle up in to bed when…

A sudden thought haunted me.

I opened up my bag and I looked all over, flipped my room upside down. It was clear I had lost it.

 

I had gone to work that day in Jackson Heights, and after babysitting till around 10 pm, I got on the 7 train, then ran to the Q44 bus, and walked home. While on the 7 train, I had remembered holding it in my hand. I had my homework in one hand, a pencil and eraser on the other. On top of carrying a backpack, I also had a bag full of food for the week. The memories of just a couple of hours ago seemed to flash before me, and I did my very best to think of where I could have possibly left it.

I quickly grabbed my jacket and bike keys and ran out the door. I went to the bus stop, looking for it on the sidewalk I was walking the whole way there.

 

Nope.

 

I must have dropped it when I ran for the bus after I got off the 7 train. There’s no way it would still be there on Main Street, of all places…

I called my friend who lives right by the station. She didn’t see it either.

I sighed. I let out a sigh of relinquishment. Then the tears came.

I cried myself to sleep.

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Earlier that evening, the younger of the two girls (5 and 7) I babysit threw a huge dramatic fit because I threw away a plastic box in the recycling bin in the hallway of the apartment building. “MOMMY AND DADDY sniff USUALLY USES THEM FOR LUNCH sniff AND IF YOU THROW’EM AWAY THEY WILL GET MAD AT US!!!!!!!! AND THEY WILL LOOK FOR IT!!!! AND THEY WILL KNOW WE THREW IT AWAY!!!!sniff … sniff… tears rolling down”

I was very confused why she was making a scene because of some strawberry box. She cried and cried and cried … for what seemed forever….

I sat her down. “If you accidentally throw something away or lose something, it’s not the end of the world. Mommy and Daddy will understand. There are a lot of things that you will encounter in your life that will be a lot more important than throwing away a box. And even those bigger things will still turn out ok in the end. You have to remember to calm down and not overreact every time.”

She locked herself into her room for about 30 minutes, when the older of the girls came up to me and said, “You know, you can still go get the box if yo want, it’s just a recycling box, not a shoot.” The little one unlocked the door and ran out of the apartment. She came back with tears once again saying, “It’s not there anymore.”I went out to the recycling box and pulled the strawberry box out. She gave me the most enlightened look I had ever seen in a child. “Ohhhhhhh. THAT’s what you threw away. I thought you threw away tupperware.”

All night as I lay in my room crying about the thing I lost, I couldn’t help but think to myself, JUST HOURS AGO I was trying to teach a kid not to overreact. I called my mom to tell her that I had lost it. She said, “At least it wasn’t you who got lost, and I’m sure someone is using it.” I guess I’m not that much of an adult as I thought I were.