Recipe of the week: Cup O Noodles. (See pictures for instructions.)

I was one of the last to arrive that day.

Step One: Boil Water

As all the cars were pulling out of the Summit parking lot, and parents were saying their last tearful goodbyes to their college bound children, I was just pulling up next to the side of the building. I suppose my late arrival could be attributed to the fact that my mother insisted on doing last minute supermarket shopping. Staring at the hummus, pita bread, and feta cheese that filled up the bags, I was glad my mother was going the extra mile to make sure that I would be eating healthy while I was living away from home.

How naïve we were.

My fingers ached as I dragged the last of the Trader Joe’s bags across the thin blue carpet of the residence halls. Of course with my luck, my room was the furthest from the elevator. As I approached the dorm-room door, I felt a wave a relief wash over me. My head exploded into a symphony of Hallelujahs as I dropped the bags next to the heap of Bed Bath and Beyond bags that lined the hallway wall.

Step Two: Pour said water into foam cup of noodles

I looked at my name on my door with pride. “Residents: …Christina Torossian” My heart swelled thinking of the good times I was bound to have while living here. Just as I was about to put the key in the lock, I paused. I took a brief moment to wonder what my roommates would be like. What kind of movies do they like? Do we like the same music? And most importantly, what do they like to eat?

And then I opened the door and walked inside.

Chaos. Boxes cluttered the floor and every surface of the room. It took me a while to realize that underneath all the clutter, there was a dark green carpet.

My roommates greeted me with halfhearted smiles and small waves, trying to be friendly, when it was obvious all they wanted to do was get everything in order. I watched for a moment as two of my roommates scrambled back and forth across the living room, piling Vitamin Water bottles in a corner. Getting out of the way, I stood in the kitchen area, feeling elated, confused, and terrified.

Step Three: Wait three minutes as recommended

Within seconds I noticed them. Boxes piled on top of the refrigerator. But these weren’t any ordinary boxes. Two unopened twenty-four packs of “Cup O Noodles” were stacked haphazardly on top of each other, nearly grazing the ceiling.

My jaw dropped and I stood there for a good minute, just staring at the ominous ramen noodles. I quickly snapped out of it, refusing to let it faze me. I then opened the cupboards so I could begin to put my food away. It was then I noticed strike two: a huge bottle of unopened Nutella, a 10 pack of Kraft’s Macaroni and Cheese, and three bags of a random assortment of chips. Sighing in disappointment, I began to pile my spices alongside the brownie mixes. If only my grandma could see this.

Taking a step back to contemplate the reality of my situation, I bumped into something on the couch behind me: strike three, an entire box filled with Hershey bars, Rees’ Peanut Butter Cups, Twix bars, and M&Ms.

Step Four: Open flap to discover dry noodles have magically transformed into soup

I sat down on the couch and pondered for a moment. I almost didn’t notice the huge stains on the green couch because of the surplus of junk food.

I thought back to my excitement I felt before entering the room. Little did I know that those good times I was so eager to experience would be tainted with chocolate. On the bright side, this year will really teach you the meaning of self-control! It was a good challenge, I realized. And soon my spirits were lifted again. This won’t be so bad; I just have to learn to control myself.

It was at that exact moment, my third roommate joined us in the living room holding a huge plastic bag in her hand. She proceeded to pull out two trays of cupcakes with pink frosting and rainbow sprinkles. “Hey guys, I baked us a bunch of cupcakes so we can all just pig out!”

I am so screwed.

And then there was one.