The aftercare of leukemia is scary. At times it seems as though there is not enough. Other times it seems so inconvenient and never ending. I also find it very telling that I have yet to talk about my life after cancer. Sometimes it seems as though I can’t help but relive the days, weeks, and months passed at Sloan Kettering. But it is time to move forward from the hospital bed and into the now. After my last round of chemo I was offered the chance to join a study exclusively being tried at Sloan. I did not have a full sibling match needed to receive a bone marrow transplant. A half match was not an option for me either. A bone marrow transplant in general was not a route I wanted to go down. My doctor was not thrilled.  Yet the research team at my hospital believes they found a vaccine for certain types of Leukemia. Right now the study is exclusively being done on patients in remission from AML and ALL. The study requires a lot of needles. I opted in. For the past eleven weeks I have been receiving a course of three shots bi weekly. One of these injections is self administered on what the doctors call “Day Zero”. I also have to circle the area in which I self administer the shot because the additional two shots need to be given in the same area two days later. This first shot is an immune system booster. Something that sounds harmless and non-threatening. After not having any immune system for a little bit, an immune system booster actually sounds good. This is what it looks like when I get the at home shot. My lovely step father is the man giving me the shot. After all this time, I am still not good with needles.

On day two I travel to Sloan on 1275 York Avenue where I get my blood drawn, analyzed, and then receive an additional two shots. The second shot is a repeat of the immune system booster I get on day zero. The second shot is what we hope will be a preventative cure for certain leukemia’s. These shots are painful. The immune system boosters are less invasive and painful. Most times I don’t feel the shot at all but do have a mild allergic reaction. This reaction is redness and swelling at the site of injection. The other shot, the one with the potentially lifesaving drug, hurts like woah. The liquid is thick. It burns when injected. The needle isn’t big enough to enable easy flow into the body. Result? The nurses have to use all their strength to push the fluid into my extremities. It hurts me. I bruise and welt up for weeks on end. My leg is still bruised, swollen, and knotted up from the first shot I received 11 weeks ago. I will get the sixth shot on Monday the 20^th of this month. After that I must submit myself to a bone marrow biopsy to see what the hell my bone marrow is doing. If all of my results come back showing promise that the shots are working, I will continue with these shots for another six months. I always remind myself that this process is better than the other options I had. I could have done nothing. I could have rolled the dice and hoped that the chemotherapy I received did its job. I could have waited to find a bone marrow donor for me and received a transplant. I know others in remission that received a transplant and still agreed to an additional year of preventative chemotherapy. The study, although uncomfortable is exciting. I hope it works not just to save my life but to save the lives of countless others from AML in the future.