These past few weeks I have felt as though the Sword of Damocles has been hanging over my head. This then prompted me to Google the literary history of the Sword of Damocles. Anyway,  ]I went to a winery with a few friends and while there noticed a rash had developed on my stomach and legs. It was visibly different from the rash that sent me to the hospital but I have not been able to relax since. It is difficult to separate reality from the imagined when one lets passed experience seep into his or her present/future. This was three weeks ago. Since then the rash has disappeared. I refused to visit my doctor in fear of what he would say. Would I need to go for more testing? Would he tell me I had a recurrence? Would I lose all my freedom again and become property of Sloan Kettering, plastic id band turned shackle for an indeterminate amount of time.  I hid because I had a choice to hide. I wanted to wait and see because of the fear of the unknown. I wanted to wait until my scheduled appointment. I don’t think I did any service to myself. I have convinced myself (and talked myself out of the conviction) that I had lung cancer, a recurrence of leukemia, lupus, allergies, a crazy menstrual cycle, or entered menopause. Everyday my concerns and worries have waxed and waned. My scheduled appointment is for tomorrow. Now I am worried beyond belief AND have a twenty page paper due Friday. Each stressor feeding into the other preventing me from doing the things I know I’m supposed to. “I can’t go to the doctor I have to write a 20 page paper!” Three hours later…. “I can’t write this paper when I am convinced I have a metastasized tumor on my brain stem”. You see how this goes. It is never ending. Moral of the story? I should have went to see my doctor three weeks ago when my health issues arose. I only put off the inevitable. My advice? Take care of your responsibilities as they come. Don’t keep putting things off and procrastinating out of fear. It will only hinder you in the long run.