I used to be one of these people:

And one day I got in a dark enough place where I almost did it. What do I remember from that time?

A lot of pain, and a feeling that I had a long journey ahead of me. What I do remember is both graphic and freeing: I saw myself in my bathroom sink mirror and made eye contact with the person in front of me, and suddenly I realized that was me. That was me who got to a place where I was in so much pain that the only way out of it seemed to be death.

Now tell me, is suicide selfish?

No.

For those of you who have been suicidal or still struggle with that issue, what do you think the answer is? For those of you who have not been suicidal, what do you think the answer is?

The discrepancy between the two answers either person would give all has to do with having experience with it or not. What needs to be done? Understanding on both sides.

Who are the people that keep those of us who have been suicidal or still are to hang on? Our loved ones: the people we love and know love us, and who will miss us. If it weren’t for the people I love, who knows if I would still be here?

However, how does one deal with the loss of someone they love from suicide? “Suicide is selfish.” An understandable statement, but inaccurate. Suicide is not about being selfish or not, it’s all about what the person is going through: deep, dark, pain, that can be accompanied by days, months, and/or years of depression, anxiety, insomnia, eating disorder(s), and so on.

I haven’t lost anyone I care about to suicide, but I can only imagine that the pain would be unbearable and very hard to understand: why would someone feel like their only option is death? How could someone get to that place?

Trust me when I say: I never thought I would get to that place, but I did. I didn’t do it because when I saw myself in the mirror, a reflection of someone I couldn’t recognize, I broke down crying realizing I had let my pain become my life. Does that make me selfish and weak? Never. When I got to that place, I couldn’t handle the emotions and feelings that felt like they would always last. So unless you have experienced that pain, never, EVER, tell someone suicide is selfish, because that is not only inaccurate, but unhelpful.

If someone told me suicide was selfish when I was suicidal, I would have ended my life. Why? Because all my life I focused on what others needed and wanted from me. I took on responsibilities that weren’t mine, so for someone to call me selfish, would only make me realize how much I didn’t do for myself.

What’s my point?

Be careful with the words you use: people are always listening even when you think they aren’t. Words do hurt; hurt is what causes pain; and pain can cause an overwhelming trap of darkness.

Be kind. Be genuine. Be unafraid. And most importantly, be OPEN.

~ Love and appreciation to all ~