This is how I am (on the inside) when I have to make a presentation in class:

I honestly don’t know when or why I started to get stage fright. I wasn’t shy at all in elementary school and then at some point in middle school it just started to happen.

I actually have a physical reaction to being in front of people. Before I get up there, my heart rate speeds up and I get all shaky. I can literally hear the pounding of my heart in my ears and I can’t sit still. Quite often I feel queasy and nauseous.

Once I’m actually up there, usually having to speak, my hands are still shaking. Usually I’ll have to read from something, so the hand holding the paper/index card/whatever will be trembling.

Sometimes, I even start to laugh hysterically. If one little thing makes me giggle, I’ll break out into loud guffaws, unable to stop. It’s usually when I’m nervous that this happens. I’ll be reading something out loud and then something will happen where I giggle, and then it just turns into outrageous laughter. My face gets red, I have a hard time breathing, and my eyes tear up.

I want to know why this happens. Do I need help of some kind?

It’s really quite frustrating because I hate looking like an idiot but I just don’t know how to stop the stage fright. I’m not even afraid of embarrassing myself, there’s just something about being in front of a group of people that makes my body react negatively.

Maybe I do need help. I don’t know.

On Tuesday I had to teach a grammar lesson for 10 minutes to my English class. I was nervous for days and when the moment came I was shaking but it wasn’t too bad. The class was small and very cooperative. By the time it was over I realized that I had been nervous for days over something that only lasted a few minutes. It wasn’t even worth the anxiety.

My heart was still beating and my hands were still shaking for about ten minutes after it was over. That can’t be healthy.

Still trying to figure out how to overcome this, mainly because I’m considering skipping my History 102 class on November 8th. Why? Because I have to read my paper out loud, in front of the class.

I’d really like to run, but I don’t know how to save myself (and my body) from the physical reaction to being in front of people.